


It's a Small World

by flowerinmygarden



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Coffee, Conversations, Denial of Feelings, Drug Withdrawal, Ethan is Bi, Falling In Love, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Happy, Inspired by Music, Light-Hearted, M/M, NOT SAD, Past Character Death, Piano, Post-Divorce, Psychotropic Drugs, References to Drugs, Rehabilitation, Slow Romance, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24764110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerinmygarden/pseuds/flowerinmygarden
Summary: Short day-to-day episodes of the relationship between Ethan and Norman.
Relationships: Ethan Mars & Shaun Mars, Norman Jayden/Ethan Mars
Comments: 8
Kudos: 44





	1. Birthday Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This pairing perhaps a little bit unpopular, but I enjoyed writing these two. This fic has been sitting for quite a while in my files, and I thought maybe I should just post it online. Let me know what you think!

“You play the piano, Mr. Mars?” Jayden asked, his fingers drum playfully on the mahogany dining table. He took a slight glance to the piano sitting at the corner of the living room. Shaun’s birthday party had just ended. The carpet had visible stains of spilled drinks and the floor was covered with colorful confettis. There were a lot of dirty dishes at the table. Just beside the piano, there were gift boxes remained unopened, left untouched. Though the house was messy, it did leave a very joyous atmosphere.

Ethan shifted in his seat, turned his head to where the piano stood still. “No, Shaun wanted piano lessons and started a month ago, so I decided to buy him one.” It was good to see the boy’s interests in music. Perhaps if he dedicates for it long enough, he will one day become a famous musician.

“Can you play piano, Mr. Jayden?” Shaun asked. Corners of his mouth had specks of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles, which made him somewhat younger than his age. The boy had just turned twelve today, and he was much more taller than when Jayden had first seen him. And much more happier. The terror in his eyes were absent, now replaced by a wave of emotions, a measure between joy and fervor.

Jayden hesitated, “I’ve had… lessons a few years back,” he quickly reminisced of his childhood. Of his teacher and classical pieces, of auditions and recitals. But Jayden had had not focusing much in his matter of music and had found himself pretty fascinated about psychologies and criminals just when he turned 16.

“Can I see you play?” Shaun asked again, shoving yet another piece of cake down onto his mouth. Who knows how many cakes he had eaten today.

“Uh…” Jayden played with his glass of orange juice nervously. “Sure, but I’m not saying I’m good at it-“

Shaun laughed, the mirth in his tone swept through the room. He stood up from the chair and walked towards the piano, followed by Jayden behind. “That’s okay, I’m still bad at it too.”

Placing his fingers on top of the piano keys, Norman took a deep breath. Carefully choosing what song he should play. The one he loved, the one he remembered the most. The notes were awfully discarded from his memoir, but the muscle memory was still there to guide him.

And then the room fell silent when he played the first few bars of Claude Debussy’s Clair de Lune.

\--

“I never knew you could play piano,” Ethan later said. They were both idle chitchatting while walking in the backyard. It was 19.53. Shaun was in his room and Jayden had stayed longer than he had wanted to, but the looks on Ethan's face somehow told him not to leave just yet.

So he didn’t.

“How long have you been playing?”

Squinting to the skies, Jayden counted in his mind how many years he had practiced. “Six, maybe seven years,” he shrugged, partially sure of his own statement. “I quit when I was twelve.”

Ethan stared down. Their shoes made soothing sounds of crunching soil and grass. The silence was comfortable, if not slightly awkward. “You still play regularly? You were good and seemed confident.”

“Sometimes…” Jayden nervously played with his fingers. He still remembered clearly when he usually plays the piano while using ARI. Those were the memories he wanted to erase so badly. Withdrawals. Triptocaine. He had to throw them away.

Judging by the looks on Jayden’s face after he said that, Ethan quickly brimmed with regret. He clearly had sent the young man’s thoughts floating to somewhere he desperately needed to forget. So he changed the subject. “You know Shaun didn’t mean it when he said he wanted you to be his teacher, right?” the father looked up to Jayden. His blue irises somehow shine brighter when there was moonlight illuminating them.

Jayden laughed, “I’d love to,” he said.

It was, perhaps, a conversation for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, it seriously means a lot to me. If you liked it, please let me know! Criticisms and suggestions are always accepted. The next chapters are in progress


	2. The Park

A walk in a park. It was the first time Ethan had seen Jayden with casual clothing.

There were kids playing kites and football, and other kids with their families eating lunch. And here Shaun was eating chocolate ice cream, his other free hand gripped tight to his father’s wrist. Jayden soon understands Shaun’s love for chocolate and made a mental note to never buy him strawberry-flavored chewies.

They took a seat on one of the benches, watching children running here and there. Things were different now that the Killer had been dealt with. Although perhaps Jayden was nominated as a ‘hero’, his fame doesn’t do much good to himself.

It all seemed sunshine and rainbows but there was still darkness beneath. It’s just that, nobody wants to hear about severe how much sacrifice and struggles he had done to bring that man to justice.

Nobody had seemed close to the whole truth. Maybe someday, someone will.

“Don’t you wanna play?” Ethan’s voice startled Jayden, though he wasn’t talking to him. Ethan’s head moved downwards to stare at his son’s eyes.

“Maybe later,” the boy replied whilst taking a few licks of his ice cream. “After I’ve finished this.”

It was also rare for Ethan to see Shaun’s face beaming with light. Perhaps because of the ice cream, or perhaps it was Saturday. Maybe the agent played a huge part in his mood; Shaun looked very much happier now that he was around.

“I’ve never been in this part of town,” said Jayden. Which was probably kind of stupid since he had just moved here a few days ago, rented a small apartment in the eastern part of Philly. DC had been too much for him. He decided to maybe stay here for a little while.

“It’s a nice place,” Ethan replied, eyes darting across the playground, watching three kids running past them playfully. Not a single burden on their shoulders. How he would give everything to be a child again. “You should visit other parks later, Shaun loves to go. Don’t ya, Shaun?” he nudged slightly to Shaun’s shoulder, where the boy just replied with a weak hum.

Not a few minutes later, Shaun had finished eating all the ice cream, including the cone. Not leaving any traces behind, as if the sweet treat had never existed in the first place. “Can I go play?” he innocently asked, a smile forming on his lips.

Ethan ran a hand through the boy’s brown hair. “Of course. Be careful, okay?”

The boy turned his back in eager, jogged to a few kids that looked like the same age as Shaun’s, playing tag.

“I think it’s a good thing that you’re here, Agent Jayden,” Ethan said. Arms crossed on his chest, watching Shaun running along with few other kids avoiding getting tagged.

Norman laughed quietly. “Please don’t call me that,” he found himself tracking Shaun’s movements, watching the boy laughed ecstatically after he successfully avoided someone who tried to tag him. Jayden unconsciously formed a smile. “And why’d you say that?”

A brief shrug from Ethan was probably enough to describe his all demeanor. “Just look at him,” he said, not glancing away from his son. “You’re the reason he’s smiling again.”

The younger man let out a shy laugh. Staring straight, he replied, “He’s happy that you’re here with him again,” his eyes fixated on Ethan’s. This time more serious. “And knows that you love him.”

“But still,” Ethan blinked several times as if trying to gain back his consciousness after traveling to a different dimension. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” Blue eyes stared at Norman strongly, full of emotions and sincerity. “I know I’ve said it before, but…” there was a slight pause before Ethan continued. “Thank you.”


	3. The Coffee Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided I want this story to be six chapters long. I'm having a blast writing these two, I hope you like this pairing as much as I do. Happy reading!

Tomorrow. Sunday morning. Jayden woke up perhaps a little bit too late, 10.05 AM. God knows how many times he had spent hours working and not sleeping at DC. All these years in the career of an FBI Agent had taught him one thing: eight hours of sleep really is a treasure that every man crave.

_What to do,_ Jayden said to himself. He hadn’t thought about what he would do in his spare time. He had spent approximately a week with no occupation, but for the time being, he felt happy. Quitting the FBI was _probably_ the right choice.

He found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror for the first time in years. He never liked what he sees. Sometimes it felt like nightmare. Sometimes, all he could see were bloody eyes and nose streaming down his pale skin. _It’s not real, it’s not real,_ he repeatedly had told himself. His vision blurry, hands trembling like crazy as he hunt for a vial of those stupid pills.

But then he had found the courage to stare at himself longer. Trying to welcome his flaws. He traced fingers to where the scar on his right cheek painted on his flesh. There were no remorse whatsoever for that scar; he actually grew quite fond of it. Precious few know the whole story behind it.

Maybe someone will.

This time, no bloody nose, no bloodshot eyes. He was getting better. Sometimes when he felt so dizzy when walking seemed nearly impossible, he forced himself not to grab a Tripto again. It was painful, but there was no other choice. He chose not to have other choices.

The cold water coming out from the faucet startled him even though he had gotten used to it. The splash of water casted away the weariness. His eyes opened wide, staring brightly at his own reflection. 

He slipped the blank expression from his face. And now, at last, Jayden smiled to himself.

There were three new texts in Jayden’s phone –he was sure one of them was from Carter Blake– but who cares? Jayden forgot the man existed and not deleting Blake’s number after he had left the precinct months ago was a terrible mistake. 

Scrolling past the messages, Jayden smiled at one name: Ethan Mars.

_[6 th July 09.12]_

_How are you, Jayden? Are you busy today?_

_[6 th July 10.13]_

_No, something I can help?_

Several thoughts came swirling through Jayden’s head. It had been such a long time since someone texted, asking how he was doing. He was unsure how he felt. Surprised? Happy? Should he be grateful? Was it merely a kindness that Ethan shows to everyone?

Either way, maybe Jayden should return the generosity.

He waited much more longer time for a respond. What would a father do in Sunday morning? Cooking breakfast for his son? Go jogging? Jayden had thought about this some time earlier. About marrying someone. Having a child that he could hold onto. A spouse that he could rely to. Family; people that could make him feel like the world is nothing without them.

But he wasn’t ready. Yet.

The thought about looking after someone else other than himself scares him more than stuck in a windowless elevator with Blake.

And then the phone vibrated on his hand.

_[6 th July 10.20]_

_I was thinking maybe we could go together somewhere._

_Shaun is with Grace today, don’t worry._

The father was probably lonely, Jayden thought. He had never had a wife, and had never lost one, but he knows the feeling of losing someone _close_.

_[6 th July 10.21]_

_What do you have in mind?_

A smirk unconsciously played on Jayden’s lips as he read the next text message.

\--

Coffee.

How Jayden loved the smell of coffee beans. With but a quick sniff, the strong scent could make his mind go at ease.

The redhead barista delivered their orders. She was clearly flirting with Jayden. The way she walked, the way she smiled, the way she looked at him. It was too goddamn obvious. Yet the young man firmly kept his cool. It was, perhaps, not the right time.

But then Jayden sensed something in Ethan’s eyes.

What was it…? Jayden couldn’t really decipher.

“They sell the best coffee in town,” Ethan said, breaking his train of thoughts.

It was indeed pleasant. After those shitty cups of coffee at the precinct, Jayden could finally heal his tastebuds. The only thing that had kept him from drinking those was because he needed the caffeine dose.

“Do you like it?” Ethan asked. He smiled. He was much more neat today. Clean-shaven, and maybe even styled his hair. He wore a white collar shirt inside a blue sweater, dark jeans, and black loafers. You don’t need to be a fashion expert to determine those were some fine attire.

Maybe Jayden really needed to pay more attention to his own clothing.

“Yes, I do,” he replied politely. Lost in a wave of small vapors on top of the cup of hot Cappuccino.

Ethan was again staring outside the window. It was one of a few things what Jayden had learnt about him. Ethan was quiet and conserved, if not a bit mysterious. He cherished the calmness in his mien, letting the silence spoke. But something inside those blue irises told Jayden something. He studied those expressions as if they were pages of books, waiting to be uncovered, yet so difficult to reach.

“I really like this place,” suddenly, his head turned. Jayden startled at the abrupt discussion, but he smiled anyway. “The interior design is also pretty impressive,” he continued, eyes sweeping what his field of view could take. But from his face, Jayden could tell, Ethan had more things he wanted to say. Something that had nothing to do with interior designs. And the way he stared at the lanterns on the ceiling almost looked like he was avoiding Jayden’s gaze.

Was he nervous? Tense? Were all those years of studying psychology resulted in nothing whenever Jayden tried to read him? Ethan hides everything behind his wall very carefully. It was almost like an invisible, impenetrable fortress. For the first time in his life, Jayden wanted to tear the walls down so bad. Learn something _deeply_ about someone. The desire was fierce to the point where he was scared, he wouldn’t be able to think carefully. So, he had decided to abandon them, afraid he might do or say something wrong.

“Do you think the designers were trying to tell us something?” Ethan asked again. A topic that was quite peculiar. Unlike what other dads would talk about. But who was he to judge? Besides, the man was an architect, after all, no doubt this was something that he liked to talk about.

Jayden was silent.

“The paintings, the choice of colors,” he continued. “What do you think they mean?”

Jayden was once again struck by that piercing gaze the man had. It was like a pair of frozen ice spears penetrated right into his chest, and he painfully –but wholeheartedly accept. “Uh…” he trailed off. “I’m not really the artistic type,” he replied with a chuckle.

And then, Jayden felt something tilt inside when he saw the man grinned. His smile was sincere. “Despite the fact that you play piano? That’s odd.”

Jayden let out a nervous chuckle as he managed to avoid eye contact for an amount of time by sipping his coffee. Burying his gaze to the dark liquid until he was ready to face the person in front of him again.

“So, what type are you exactly, Jayden?” He was leaning closer. Chin rested against the back of his hands. Staring curiously at the younger man.

At first Jayden thought Ethan was the one who was nervous. Now, his own guess got the better of him. “Um…” Jayden subconsciously scratched his cheek. “I don’t know. You tell me. I’ll buy you a sandwich if you guess right.” the side of his lip curled up. He decided to play along.

“You’re the reader type,” Ethan answered, almost without hesitance.

“Am I?”

This time Ethan’s arms folded on his chest, his gaze did not falter from the younger man. “The way you stare at people,” he continued. “You don’t just _see_ them. You observe, read, and make conclusions,” his eyes lit up. Another glance that almost made Jayden flinch in his seat. “Maybe that’s why people like you.”

_They don’t._ Jayden said. But he went silent.

And then Jayden laughed, followed by Ethan. The most entertaining laugh he had heard. When was the last time someone made him laugh?

It was probably obvious Ethan was exaggerating at the last part, but Jayden couldn’t deny that Ethan was perhaps quite right about him.

Looks like he was out 7 bucks for a sandwich.

Then, as Jayden reached for his wallet, his hands started trembling.


	4. I Just Want to Help

When Jayden woke up, the room was strangely dark, and he was alone. It took him a good few minutes to actually realize what had happened.

He was laying on a hospital bed with a silly patient attire. His clothes folded neatly at the bedside table. The room was tidy, but there was a sense of eerie when he couldn’t feel the sunlight against his skin anymore. The curtains were closed, it was probably dark outside. The lamp was bright, but the lighting wasn’t actually came into his liking.

And then the door opened rather too harshly, revealing a worried Ethan at the threshold. “Norman, you’re awake,” he sighed. His old, terrorized look on his face was there again. And Jayden hated it.

He hated how worried he sounded when Ethan called his name. His _forename._ It felt like Ethan had known him better than himself.

Jayden didn’t even bother to ask what happened. “I found you unconscious in the restroom. I called ambulance. Doctor had said your heart beat was too weak he afraid it might skip,” he said. His uneasy tone now replaced by a more subtle, calm one. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

There was nothing more annoying than having his morning coffee interrupted by his extreme withdrawals. What made him more upset was that Ethan was around when it happened. Jayden tried to sat up. And when he did, the room started spinning violently. “How long was I out?” he closed his eyes, tried to concentrate.

Ethan dragged an unoccupied chair to sit beside the bed. He glanced at his watch. “It’s 6.12 pm. You’ve been out for hours.”

Jayden groaned. Ran a hand through his face as he pressed fingers onto his closed eyelids. Seeing colors behind his eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he slide his legs sideways, turning his back to Ethan. Jayden mumbled something about he needed to go, but he himself wasn’t quite sure what he just said. And then he felt Ethan’s hand gripped on his forearm.

“No, you should rest.”

“No, I’m fine,” Jayden brushed Ethan off quite grimly. He regretted it in an instant, but he was too much of a coward to show it.

“Then let me drive you home,” he said. Now his hand gripped tight on Jayden’s shoulder.

Jayden just remembered he didn’t drive to the coffee shop this morning. He wasn’t sure he was sober enough to drive and decided to use a bus instead. Should he be grateful or upset about it? Ethan would never let go.

“I can’t leave you alone like this,” Ethan continued. “Please, let me take you home.”

And Jayden just had to agree after hearing the pity in his voice. Jayden felt he should be ashamed, he should be angry. He didn’t want to bother anyone about this.

But now it was all too late.

The car ride was awfully quiet. Jayden had fallen asleep at the passenger seat, wrapped in that thick, black coat of his. Jayden knew he owed some kind of explanation to the poor man, but for the time being, he was grateful Ethan had the decency not to ask anything.

After they’ve finally arrived at the apartment building, Ethan shook Jayden’s shoulder lightly. Despite the gentle gesture, the young man woke up alerted, tensed, and worried, before finally calmed down when he caught the sight of his companion.

“We’re here,” Ethan said, almost whispering. “Can you walk?”

“Perhaps,” Jayden replied nonchalantly. His bitter smile was visible and it made Ethan wince.

“I’ll take you to your room.”

Again, his offers were sweet. The way he said it, it felt genuine. Not mere formality, nor an act of obligation.

And Jayden hated it.

They both entered the apartment. A bit messy, but Ethan had seen worse. Somehow it reminisced him of those painful days moving and staying with Shaun in a cheap apartment for the first time.

The first thing they saw was the kitchen, it connected to the living room. Jayden hadn’t had any dining table, but two chairs behind the kitchen counters were a decent substitute. He made a mental note Jayden never had many visitors.

Jayden opened the fridge, wiping his nose as he did. He hadn’t even took off his coat. Either he forgot, or he just didn’t care. Ethan was silent either way. “Beer or lemonade?” he asked. Bending downwards to scrutinize the contents of his own fridge.

“Just lemonade, thank you.”

Jayden took a big glass of iced lemonade from the fridge and poured it in an orange mug, quietly handing it to Ethan. He didn’t bother to stare. His eyes were dark, tired, and sad.

Then, much to his surprise, Jayden grabbed a can of beer and drank it rashly. He wiped his mouth afterwards, and stared down at the floor. The dizziness was gone, no more trembling hands, and other symptoms, but a guilt was present.

Jayden didn’t even know why.

“You’re not okay,” Ethan remarked. His cold lemonade left untouched.

Jayden turned to smile, but he didn’t meet Ethan’s eyes. As if he was avoiding them. “I’m fine, Ethan. Don’t worry.”

“Collapsing inside a public restroom and having bloodshot eyes isn’t exactly _fine,_ Norman,” the older man continued. His voice a bit harsher than usual. Jayden had never seen Ethan this angry. Or perhaps that was a thing that Jayden had to learn.

Instead of replying to him, Jayden just stared to the window. His body stiff, hand rested on one of the counters, another free hand pressed the fridge door. He didn’t know what to do, nor what to say, except trying to keep his head clear.

Then he heard Ethan sighed heavily. “Sorry, I…” he paused. “I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just that…” he paused again, gesturing his hands quite strangely. “I want to help you, Jayden. I really do.”

This. This again. Jayden was now furious as well as he was jovial. He didn’t deserve it. But what he sees now was real. Ethan was real. Not some sort of artificial interface that ARI would make. Not some fake personality his brain could create. Real flesh and bone. Someone actually cared about him. It made him uncomfortable.

“The doctor said something to you?” Jayden asked, eyes still fixed on the window, though he wasn’t quite sure of what he was staring at.

“Yes, he said something about…” Ethan rubbed his chin. “Permanent brain damage. Possible use of drugs.”

_Permanent brain damage._ So, it was true. ARI had damaged his brain more than he had imagined. Sometimes he couldn’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy. There was a part deep inside him, constantly asking, _is this true? Is Ethan really here right now?_

After sighing heavily, Jayden turned, his body facing Ethan. He slipped his hands into his coat pockets and shrugged. “Easy to make assumptions out of that.”

There was this _look_ on Ethan that was highly disturbing, full of disbelief. The time he took to figure it all out was a bit too long. “What, you’re a junkie?”

Maybe that could work to sum Jayden up in one word. _Junkie._ He didn’t really hate that word. The only reason why it sounded strange was because Jayden never actually used it. Maybe he should, now.

“Kind of,” he shrugged, walking towards the front door to hang up his coat. The air felt so much colder now that he had taken that off. He wondered if Ethan felt the same thing since he arrived.

The silence in the room was highly awkward. Both had nothing to say to each other. But the worried look on Ethan’s face was still there. He wanted to say something, Jayden knew it, but he had seen so much of that expression he was nearly getting used to it. Ethan chooses his words very carefully. “So, do you mind if I ask you what happened?”

“It’s a long story…” Jayden said, staring to the ground with hands on his hips. Then, he continued, reluctantly, “It’s getting late, I think you should leave and rest.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows. A slight disappoinment in his visage. “If it would help,” he emptied the glass of lemonade in a few gulps before standing up and smiling sweetly. “Thanks for the drink,” he walked toward the front door.

_No, don’t go._

But Jayden let him out.

Suddenly, Ethan turned his back. “Call me if you need anything.”

Before leaving, Ethan smiled. And Jayden smiled back.

He was silent as he stared the man walked through the hall. He was expecting Ethan would turn around and– _no_ , Jayden said. _He wouldn’t._

As Jayden closed the door, there was a solid woe inside; something he hadn’t felt for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at titles, LOL. Sorry.


	5. Acceptance

_“Changed your mind?”_ Ethan said, on the phone. Early evening.

“Yeah,” Jayden paused. “I’m sorry,” it sounded so lame he really wanted to punch himself in the face.

A small chuckle came out from the other end. Jayden unconsciously smiled. _“Relax, I was joking. What do you need?”_

Jayden stumbled upon his own words. _What do I need?_ He asked himself.

_You._

“I just need to talk.”

They agreed to meet at Ethan’s place. The man insisted he should pick Jayden up but of course, Jayden refused.

Tonight, he would be okay. He should be.

Jayden arrived a few minutes later. The sky was beginning to turn dark and the air was beginning to get colder, but Ethan greeted him with the warmest smile Jayden had ever witnessed.

“You really need to learn to wear something more casual, Jayden,” Ethan remarked, finger pointed to his grey suit and black coat. But somehow his eyes lingered on Jayden’s.

“Forgive me, it has become a habit, I guess,” Jayden replied while adjusting his tie, smiling weakly.

Ethan chuckled. “Forget about it. Come in.”

When they entered the house, it was awfully empty, but he sensed countless amounts of peacefulness and quiet. Jayden glanced a little bit to the left, where he caught the glimpse of Ethan’s messy work desk. Papers and pencils everywhere. It was oddly therapeutic for Jayden to look at.

“The house has gotten pretty dirty lately. Well, because, you know,” Ethan gestured his hands weirdly. “There’s no one else living here besides me and Shaun, so…”

“I understand,” Jayden nodded. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Truth be told, it was not really that messy. Jayden had seen worse. He looked around and saw a lot of family photos on top of a small accent table, one of which caught his undivided attention, was a picture of the whole family; Ethan, Shaun, Jason, and his ex-wife, Grace. It seemed so long ago.

“Come, sit. Make yourself at home.” The warm smile on Ethan’s face was still there, and Jayden knew he noticed where his gaze had been.

“Coffee or tea?” Ethan’s voice caught him off guard, Jayden began to stutter.

“Uh, tea. Thank you.”

Tea was never been his number one choice, but after that incident the other day, Jayden figured he needed some refreshment.

The two men sat down across each other in the living room. There was an awkward silence between them, but the hot drinks on the coffee table became Jayden’s sweet escape. “How’s Shaun?” he asked, reluctantly.

“He’s alright,” Ethan replied with a smile after a quick sip of his hot coffee. “At times, I feel like he’s more content when staying with Grace,” he continued. “Not that he seems unhappy with me, he’s just lonely. And I’m trying my best to make him happy again.”

_Of course, he is,_ Jayden thought. Dealing with divorced parents and losing a brother is never an easy matter. Shaun had been so strong, Jayden was amazed on how the kid’s coping with all of this.

“But enough about me,” Ethan raised his voice. “We’re here for something else. What do you want to talk about?”

The tea inside the cup was almost empty, and Jayden realized he had to deal with this sooner or later. “I came here to apologize.”

With a furrow on his eyebrow, Ethan chuckled. “What for?”

“That day, after I had my unusual... _withdrawals_ ,” he sighed. “You were trying to help and I ditched you,” now Jayden was unable to stabilize his heartbeat. “Not really an appropriate behavior. I feel stupid.”

Ethan showed a lopsided smile. “No worries, I understand. I was just so worried, I might have lost my mind at some point there.” He laughed. The voice was somehow soothing to Jayden.

After a brief silence, Jayden nodded. “Thank you.”

There was an uneasiness in Ethan’s eyes as he stared at Jayden blinking, wavering. “Listen, you’ve been a tremendous help to me and family, Jayden,” he said. “I’m… more than happy if you consider me as a friend that you can rely on,” Ethan smiled sweetly, now the uneasiness was replaced with certainty. “If you need to talk, I’m willing to try to help. It’s the least I can do.”

Those words perhaps meant more to Jayden than intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thanks for all the kudos as well. Next chapter is going to be the final one :D


	6. No Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the final episode, guys. Happy reading!

If hell hadn’t broken loose, if circumstances had been different, Shaun would be eating dinner together with his brother and his mom. But with everything that they had went through, Ethan refused to go back. He chose to live his life the way he is now. With Shaun, his only son. He watched in silence as Shaun ate his chicken soup.

Suddenly, Shaun asked. “Dad, how does it feel to fall in love?”

Ethan was taken aback and he giggled. “Why, Shaun? Someone at school caught your attention?”

The boy shook his head. “No. I’m just curious,” he grinned. “I need to learn how to be an adult someday, Dad.”

“Don’t worry,” Ethan said, stroking his son’s hair. “You’ve got plenty of time.”

“So tell me.” Now Shaun was staring hard at Ethan, his curiousness was untamed.

With a big huff, Ethan’s shoulder drooped. “Well, I honestly don’t really know,” he smirked, trying to hold a laugh. “It just happens.”

“Huh… So, you and mom,” Shaun paused for a little while. “It just happened?”

Absentmindedly, Ethan nodded. “It just happened.”

The little boy accepted the answer, though if he made it clear that it didn’t really satisfy his curiosity, Ethan didn’t notice. Perhaps he’d understand soon enough.

Ethan felt a small buzz of his phone inside his pocket. He took it out and saw a name he remembered the most: Norman.

_[11 th July 20.12] _

_Forgive my interruption, Ethan. But can we talk?  
Call me once you read this._

“Okay, finish up, Shaun. After that, I’ll read you a story before bed, yeah?” Ethan smiled.

“Yes, Dad.”

Ethan strolled to the backyard with the phone on his ear, the dial tone accompanying him. He didn’t mind the cold air once he caught the voice on the other side received the call. “Jayden,” he paused to take a breath. “I read your message. What is it?”

_“Good evening, Ethan,”_ Jayden sounded nervous. Not that Ethan hadn’t get used to that by now. _“I didn’t expect you to call so soon.”_

Before the silence succumbed into awkwardness, Ethan chuckled. “Yes, I always keep my phone close. It’s becoming a habit,” after a short sigh, he continued. “Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”

_“I just want to inform you that I’ll be coming back to DC,”_ there was a short delay as if he was trying to keep his composure. _“Just to let you and Shaun know.”_

“When?”

_“Next morning.”_

A long pause.

_“Well, I’ll be packing up now. Have a good night, Ethan.”_

Without skipping a beat, Ethan replied, almost shouting. “Wait, can I come over?”

Jayden laughed briefly. _“Okay, sure.”_

\---

The car ride felt longer than usual or was it because Ethan’s mind wandered to places that he hadn’t thought his mind would wander to. Something about hearing Jayden leaving sent him anxious down the core. He held a piece of photograph in between his fingers. Took a slight glance at it, then continued to drive.

After a brief knock on the door, Ethan was greeted by Jayden with a mug of tea in his hand. “Come in. I’ve almost finished packing up.”

As Ethan stepped in, he looked around. The place was much cleaner, brighter, and wider, and it smelled like vanilla. There was a faint calm piano song playing in the background. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Oh, not at all,” Jayden replied whilst walking around the place, still holding the mug. Leaving a sweet scent across the room. And it reminded Ethan of milk tea. “I just tried making this roasted milk tea using a recipe I found on the internet. You want to try?”

Ethan shuffled his way to the kitchen counter and leaned back. “Oh, no thanks. I’ll be leaving soon anyway,” he stared at Jayden through the wide-opened bedroom door, doing something with the bedside table. “Suppose we should have a little more… _proper_ goodbyes.”

He heard Jayden laughed. “Okay. I’ll be done in a few seconds.”

After numerous series of tidying up, Jayden made his way to the kitchen counter and placed his mug in the sink.

“Is that the same song you played on Shaun’s piano?” Ethan asked, hands folded in front of his chest.

“Yes, _Claire de Lune,_ I’m surprised you noticed,” Jayden smiled, facing Ethan after cleaning the mug. “It’s a famous piece by a French composer Claude Debussy.”

“What does it mean?”

Jayden walked towards the big window in the living room before answering. “Moonlight.” He stared at the sky for a little while before turning around again and faced Ethan, still leaning against the counter. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Ethan followed the steps and stood beside Jayden, staring at the moon for a brief moment. “My mother loved this piece so much, when I was little I always played it for her before bed.”

It was perhaps the first time Jayden had opened up to him about his personal life. So Ethan fell silent, eager to hear more. “What time will you leave tomorrow?”

“Ten.” Ethan was somehow struck by his brevity.

“Will you be coming back?”

There was a long delay before Jayden answered. His eyes were still fixated to the skies, his view darting across the stars. “I… I still don’t know,” he looked down. “You see, my life is back in DC. My friends, my house… family.”

“I understand.”

Jayden gave Ethan a small nod and a warming smile, an indicate of respect towards his understanding.

“I came here to give you something,” Ethan handed him the small photograph of Shaun and him together in the frame. It looked quite faded and old, but otherwise pretty, and it gave him a sense of immense conviviality. “This was Shaun’s 9th birthday party. I thought it could be something to remember me and Shaun by.”

A chuckle escaped Jayden’s mouth as he took the photo and stared at it. “Trust me, Ethan. You are hard to forget.” And then he frowned. “But won’t you be needing this?”

“I have the copy back at home. Don’t worry.”

“Alright, thanks. This is nice, I’ll be sure to keep it.” Jayden said as he put the small photograph inside his wallet.

“Glad you liked it.” Another awkward pause. “So, I guess this is goodbye, then.”

Jayden nodded. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll meet again someday,” he shifted in his posture and put his hands inside the jeans’ pockets. “Does Shaun know I’m leaving?”

“No, I haven’t told him yet,” Ethan shook his head and looked down. “I think he’d be really upset to hear that.”

They both laughed. Still staring directly at the skies. It somehow kept them at ease, knowing that they’d be looking at the same sky even though they’d be separated.

“Well, it’s getting late,” Ethan glanced at his watch. “I think I should be going. Good night, Jayden.”

“Ethan, wait.” Without skipping a beat, Jayden was already grasping Ethan’s arm, holding him in place. “Thank you… for everything.”

The other man stepped closer and stared sharply at Jayden’s eyes. “I think I should be the one telling you that.”

Jayden grinned. “We’re even, then.”

“I think we are.”

They stayed like this for quite a while, _Claire de Lune_ still playing in the background. Somehow, Ethan’s heartbeats were able to drown the sounds around him, and all that his sense captured was Jayden, in front of him, beneath the moonlight.

Jayden’s gaze drifted to Ethan’s lips, and back to his piercing ice-like stare. Their slight height difference made Ethan shrunk in embarrassment, but they couldn’t move away. The next thing they knew, Jayden moved his head closer until they felt their calm breaths.

Just a slight touch of his lips was enough to send Jayden’s body on fire. He stuttered and scooted back. “I’m sorry.”

It was Ethan’s turn to hold the younger man in place. “Not your fault.”

_Stay._ Ethan wanted to whisper his thoughts, but he refused to be selfish.

_I can’t, I’m sorry._ Jayden would say, so Ethan stayed silent.

“I might stay a little while longer, then.”

They shared a warm smile, feeling the burn in their hearts went uproar as minutes passed.

Perhaps what Ethan had said earlier was true after all. It just happens.


End file.
